You are a door mat. A soppy wet door mat.
Your obsessive relationship with Michael? Yeah, not cool. Don't condone his violent behavior. How about instead of taking him to some place on the anniversary on his brothers death to break some glass shit, then let him drink OPEN ALCOHOL IN THE VEHICLE.. how about take him to a support group for families and family members affected by drunk driving? How about that, huh? Sounds like a better idea in retrospect, doesn't it?
Let's discuss this, really. Subconsciously ruining every relationship you try at for EIGHT YEARS because some boy in high school broke your heart? Honey, you need help. Like a shrink or something, because that kind of self deprivation is not healthy. And trying to only find happiness in that drug of choice again years later... also not healthy.
The love of your life is NOT. CHARMING. Man, is he ever terrible. He lets you save his back, watch his kid, take his kid out for gymnastics lessons and such and is like "Wow, neato, thanks.".. not even like a "Hey, as a thank you, let me ______ANYTHINGATALL!!_____" It just screams door mat to me. OH AND BY THE WAY.. before actually owning up to what's happened in the past and mentioning any of it, his first real reach out to you is EMAILING YOU A (WOW I THINK ABOUT YOU) EMAIL AND A SONG FROM COLDPLAY. How fucking romantic is that???? WOooowwwweeeee!!!
The only redeeming qualities about your actions is how sweet you are with kids, especially Erin. Also how cool you were in high school, for the most part. Sticking up for your friend and not initially being judgmental- that's cool!
Oh and PS? I'm team Adam.(This book is well written, actually cute in a lot of spots, and pretty entertaining, despite my Lauren and Michael bashing. Erin was just adorable.)