WANT TO READ ABOUT THE WEIRDEST BOOK, POSSIBLY EVER? READ THIS REVIEW.
I DNF after getting about half way through this book, and I feel guilty about it.. but I can't force myself to guilt read.
I also can't rate this book because... I can't even tell if I'd rate it a 2 or a 4.5. I have no idea.
Where to start.. Oh, by telling you there are SPOILERS
afoot here... yes.
Was this the weirdest book I've ever read? I think so, yes. I've read a lot of books. Ones more fucked up, but this was by far the weirdest.. This book gives puppy-play a whole new meaning.
Acquainted with the night? As far as I can tell, these boys are getting fucking day in and day out, and night time has nothing to do with it. This book should've been called:
- Bow-Wows Big Adventure
- Doggy Chow Down
- Aliens Can Love Too
- Roll Over Rover
So basically.. men are sold to aliens so their anal canals can be used in alien breeding. Alright. So aliens buy them, like dogs, and fuck them countless times and lay eggs in their asses (they no longer crap, btw.. aliens took care of that). It's just so fucked. Like they have these milking machines they milk their dicks.. like cows.. all the time.. and plugs up their asses.. and there are countless scenes with entire hand(s) up dudes asses.. sometimes 2 at a time. And like.. aliens lay these eggs in there and it takes hours of pain until the egg latches on and then the dude carries it around for a bit, until its soft, then lays an egg, but during this process the aliens check on these eggs by rimming their human pets with their super long tongues. Like, I'm laughing writing this because it sounds totally made up, but it's not. And humans are always naked and have manacles all the time and are fed and let run around in the yard to play.. it's just so weird. Imagine everything you know about a human beings relationship with a dog... and now imagine that exact relationship with a human and two dogs, but also mixed in to a relationship a man might have with a flesh-light/uterus. That's this book. Hahaha. Picture a relationship that is human/dog/dog/dog/dog/uturus/fleshlight/milkingmachine and you have this book. Viola!
But onto points of the actual story now...
I thought both MCs were total bitches. I don't even remember their names right now. Kal and Pol was what their master called them. Oh, get this. They call him Master. Woof woof. They're just like "WELL, BETTER ROLL OVER AND ACCEPT MY FATE" and look.. I know it's smarter to go with the flow, but they don't have even a little bit of fight in them.. they seem so lame. No spirit. No spunk (no pun intended). No passion. They just want to lay around all day and get orgasms while they have an egg up their asses. I'm not saying it's a bad life, it's just kinda blah to read about. And they fall in love so easy. But it's not even really love, it's definitely companionship. And then their Master loves them.. and that's weird too. He loves them likes doggies. Doggies you fuck. And theres a point when Master kicks doggy#2 (whose name I don't remember), and then he's so scared of being taken away by the Pound that he literally cries and whines and freaks out like a dog. It's ACTUALLY like kicked puppy syndrome.. where dogs will love you no matter what you do to them.
I stopped reading after a scene where the aliens took their little puppy pets to a party to play with other pets and romp around in the fresh air. I've read spoilers as to what goes on during the rest of the book, and I'm very "meh" about it.
I am NOT hating on this book. It was weird... so fucking weird. Too weird for me, but I'm not saying it was bad. I just can't do it. I have a threshold for my weirdness that I thought was pretty big, but this was too big. Probably as big as the giant alien dicks in this book.
Friends, maybe try... to read this book...?? I don't even know. I just don't know....